Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Meditate on art.

I have a special little meditation table.  Some people call it an altar, or shrine......I don't really know what to call it. It's made up of items that hold a special meaning, and it's just by the back door to the house, so I see it each time I go in or out.

Our house is very small, so a few years ago we enclosed our back porch into a sort of family room that we could fit a bigger dining table in, we could fit our kids and their friends in, we could even fit our visitors in - and I could also have a desk to work at.  I love it.  It's full of crummy old second hand furniture, is as hot as the hobs of hell in summer (tin roof and all) but I have a special little corner out here where I can plan, dream, paint, sew, meditate and 'do stuff'.

I've always dreamt of being a full time artist, and a couple of years back I chose a few items that only held a special meaning for me, items that I knew if I saw them daily, and thought about them - I would move closer to my dream.

The green 'cloche' hat I made at Tafe.  One night I raced into the felting class late (as usual, because of work) and the only wool roving that was left was lime green.  Great.  I hate lime green.  Oh well - "It's all about the process" I thought to myself.  Just shutup and do it.  I ended up with a lime green slimy stringy mess that extended far beyond hat shape nearly onto the floor.  It was so embarrassing....nobody else's 'hat' was spreading all over the place like this.  So I just kept my head down, kept working it and rolled the incredibly yukky ends into little swirls which I ended up embellishing with embroidery and tiny beads.  I named the hat 'Cabbage Roses'.  I learnt that something quite exquisite can be made from a major yuk.....if I just listen, persevere, and go with the flow.  (Maybe not quite exquisite....but I think it's fabulous).

The framed watercolour was painted by my favourite lecturer.  She is gentle, kind, and incredibly giving of her knowledge. I've learned from her that there are no mistakes, every artwork and process is valuable, and every artist has a place in this world.  I hope I can be as humble and generous as she is.

The little cloth doll angel was made by an artist friend.  She told me when I bought it that it's not normally the work that she does.  I disagree.  This little angel reminds me that we do what we have to, to achieve our goals.  We raise money for the things we need, we work into the night while our family rests so we can create, we put ourselves 'out there'.  I love the angel's retro colours and I love her little rickety rusty wings.

I also have a candle which I light when I'm home and also for meditation, and a box of Louise Hay cards.  I pick a card when I need to.  Sometimes it gets displayed, sometimes not.  The card I got for today was 'I let go of all expectations'.

About a month and a half ago I resigned from a job I've held for over 20 years in community services. I finish up early January.  I'm scared, sad, excited and nervous, all at the same time.  But I think I'm moving closer to my dream.

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